Five Foolproof Ways to Avoid Your Family This Holiday Season

Five Foolproof Ways to Avoid Your Family This Holiday Season

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By Tara Woods

Can’t avoid your family this Holiday Season? We Got You Covered. Here’s five ways to avoid your family and have a happy holiday.

1. Take a walk

Honestly, taking a walk is not a part of my regular schedule, especially in this snow and cold air. But if your family is causing so much trouble that you might explode, taking a walk in the inclimate weather might help. You’ll soon realize you hate exercise and the cold much more than you hate your family.

2. “Use the bathroom”

If you’re not hosting the family get together at your house, find the bathroom and lock yourself in. Bring a pair of headphones to block out the noise of your family members knocking to get in, and kick back to watch some Netflix on the toilet. Pro tip: Bring air freshener to make it seem like you were just sick.

3. Hover over the food

If you’re able, stay where the food is and keep eating. This way, when someone tries to talk to you can just point to your mouth as you chew and hopefully they’ll walk away. Make sure to have crunchy snacks for that one Aunt who doesn’t understand social boundaries and won’t stop talking. Let the crunch drown her out.

4. Find the animal

This is my favorite game to play at any party, not just family get-togethers. Basically, go find a dog or cat and spend all of your time playing with them. While your family discusses politics you will be getting doggie kisses or kitty purrs. When someone comes to talk to you try to get the animals to hiss or bark at them until they leave. *Not Valid if Animal is Spawn of Satan*

5. Get a drink

2017 is quite the time to be alive, especially if you need a stiff drink. Apparently, you can now order alcohol from an app and it will be delivered to you in 30 minutes or less. Ask them to wait outside so you can run out and grab it without questions from grandma. Obviously, be 21 or older to do this.

Families are hard. Let us know your go-to avoidance move in the comments. Finally, good luck to all, and to all a good night.

 

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