I planned to run this happy-music-only experiment all week, and I had to cut it three days short. I’ve found I’m too stubborn and too easily annoyed, let’s start at the beginning.
It was the last day of March, it was cold, it was gloomy and I was sad…angry, like most when the stereotypical lingering winter weather shows off its wrath in Michigan.
It was a Monday, so I only had class on campus at Grand Valley State University (I’m dual enrolled at GVSU and Grand Rapids Community College). I sat in the radio studio at GVSU, shivering at the thought of walking to the bus and as I watched the tracklist, “Walking on Sunshine” appeared in the queue. Ding ding ding. Idea in my head. Why not listen to music like this all day…maybe all week! This will surely fix my down-in-the-dumps problems, right? Wrong.
I began my experiment enthusiastically. I even told my listeners on WLSX about my plans, telling them I was currently putting together the happiest playlist known to man, and that it was. I fired up my phone and my favorite app, Airbuds, and asked my friends for recommendations to add to this astounding playlist.
They did not disappoint.
I walked out of the studio, headphones on head, with “Valerie” by Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse blasting in my ears. I’m not going to lie, I walked to the bus with a little pep in my step that afternoon.
The next morning, i’m walking around campus, coffee running through my veins, playlist in my ears, feeling good. As the day went on, all went according to plan and I stayed pretty upbeat all day, the experiment must be working! Wrong.
Wednesday, I get up, fire up the playlist and it’s all fine. It’s fine, just fine. Actually not fine. I don’t know if I have a pessimistic quality about me but the music started to annoy me a bit, and it got worse.
How can someone be so happy that they thank the sun? Shut up, Pharrell. I thought to myself, “Am I just a miserable person? Why can’t I just enjoy this?” I was driving to Aldi with my boyfriend, irritated, and I think he may have been a bit confused by the duality of my straight face and the fast-paced, cheery sounds echoing out of my car speakers.
I went to clean my room when we got home, happy music would be sure to lift my productivity and help my motivation to clean, right? Wrong. I could not happily fold my clothes with The Beach Boys in my ears singing about “Good Vibrations.” I’ve come to the conclusion I work better under sadder circumstances. Next time I fold my clothes, I’m going to listen to Lizzie McAlphine and do it with a smile on my face.
The next morning, I walked to the bus with the playlist yet again. I woke up feeling alright, I walked to the bus feeling alright, and I can’t say the music had anything to do with it. Maybe I’m just stubborn.
As I sat in class that morning, I could not bring myself to desire an upbeat song to accompany me on my walk out of the class, and I listened to my needs. Exiting class that day, I switched the playlist (finally) and slow, reflective music didn’t make me sad, it kept me neutral. And that’s fine, I can’t be happy all the time.
I think my brain is too difficult and won’t let music affect my mood that much. Of course it’s going to influence me a little bit but I won’t let it go that far. I should have taken my past into account upon beginning this experiment. I listen to heartbreaking lyrics with a joyous attitude all the time, it’s just the way I am. I wish I could just tell my past self that and spare myself from the annoyance I was about to endure. You can’t force something like this.
When your feelings are strong, you can’t expect a fast bpm and cheery lyrics to turn that around, and now I know. As much as the music helped amplify my mood when I was already feeling somewhat motivated and happy, it could not alter my down-in-the-dumps feeling. Sometimes, you just need to feel sad. How would you feel the ups if you never felt down?
