Home Featured News Dear Shelby: Unconditional love – A matter of choice

Dear Shelby: Unconditional love – A matter of choice

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by Shelby Corliss

Many people believe that love is solely based on how good someone makes them feel, and that’s why so many relationships, young and old, end in failure, because you won’t always feel good. People stop doing the things that are imperative, that once made them and their partner happy. Then they lose sight of feelings and without feelings love isn’t always visible. Love isn’t always rainbows and butterflies…or sunshine and elephants in my case. (Because those two things make me really happy).

Dear-ShelbyYou won’t always get what you want and you won’t always understand each other. You will have arguments and sometimes you’ll second guess everything. You’ll have to make a conscious choice as to if you want to fight for your relationship or give up on it. The decision you make based on that can determine if you truly love someone.

Love might spark from a feeling, but to truly love is a choice. It’s not just a feeling or an emotion. It’s a decision you choose to do or not to do every single day.
Just like you decide what to eat for lunch, how to spend your free time, the people you associate with, or what television series you watch on Netflix, you get to choose who you love. It’s a great thing really, and it’s also the most selfless thing you’ll ever do.

Every person has imperfections. If you find someone who chooses to unconditionally love you even with all of your annoying traits, pushes you to better yourself, makes you happy by simply just being there , and makes you feel important, you’ve probably found love. A relationship takes time, work and two people willing to constantly try to maintain a healthy relationship together. It won’t be easy, but will it be worth it? Definitely.

The ability to unconditionally love a person will take a lifetime and a half to master, but a constant effort is all that’s really needed. Mistakes will be made, and you’ll have to say “I’m sorry” a million times, but as long as you’re working at it, that’s what matters. There are countless ways to unconditionally love someone, especially since every single person loves and needs to be loved differently.

Here are 10 ways you can choose to love on a daily basis.

  1. Say I love you. And mean it.
  2. Let go of the little things and do the little things. (They’re different for everybody)
  3. Be supportive.
  4. Communicate! (Even if you’re scared of the outcome)
  5. Be affectionate. (Hug, kiss, hold hands, etc.)
  6. Make time. Always. No excuses!
  7. Apologize and forgive…over and over again.
  8. Be selfless; in thoughts, words and actions.
  9. Show appreciation; say thank you.
  10. Be respectful; emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

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