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Dealing with Divorce

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Divorce Cover
Photo by Jonathan D. Lopez

By Alexandria Rogers – Collegiate Staff

Every other Sunday, my 10-year-old sister packs some of her belongings in a duffle bag and throws her backpack over her shoulder in preparation to leave home for the week. She is off to spend her allowed time with my father, and my mom or myself barely see her for the next seven days.

Divorce is a difficult, confusing, and sometimes spiteful process for those involved. With exceptions, some families are able to separate and live life as though everything was the same as before.

Marriage is full of sinful possibilities that can lead to turmoil. Arguing, lying, cheating, and struggling for money are just a few of the many things that lead to separation among couples. Divorce is no longer as taboo as it used to be. Divorce is one way couples solve problems within marriage, or an escape route.

I have found myself searching for ways to cope for years, and I am not sure how long it will take for me to completely get over my parents’ divorce. It feels as though there has been a death in the family.

Divorce initially resulted in me not speaking to my dad or his entire side of the family for years. I’m sure there are many people that have the same emotions as myself when dealing with divorce.

When I turned 18 and entered my senior year of high school, my parents made the decision to separate, and I was very confused, as well as lost. I wondered what the next step was with my parents separating after so many years of happiness. Seeing my parents bicker and not speak to one another was hard, but I understood why it needed to happen.

“The divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world,” said Kathleen Corcoran, Ph.D. of Mediation and Conflict Resolution, and a working Practitioner Member of the Academy of Family Mediators, spent most of her life dealing with couples going through divorce.

“Over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce,” Corcoran said. “Welcome to the majority.”

I can easily name off friends, family, and other acquaintances that are children of divorce. Studies have shown that children of divorced parents are more likely to end up divorced later on.

It’s important to remember that in certain situations divorce is an option. We have to be understanding of the situation marriage has forced people to come to.

Being a child of separated parents, I have found it is important to spend time with each parent, and have steady relationships with both individuals. Though you may not agree with them and their decision to separate, a majority of the time it is for the better, and they may end up much happier. I recently regained a relationship with my dad for the better of the both of us. Having a connection with him and my mom has lead to a healthier me.

Although it is tough to deal with at times, I like to view my parents’ divorce as though it was a privilege for me to go through. I was forced to mature, and learn an important lesson about life that I hope I may pass onto others. Since divorcing, my mom has become more involved in new hobbies and my dad purchased a new sports car. The hope is that most are capable of finding new outlets post-divorce that lead to a new, successful, and happy life.