By Lily Reed
Kim Dabbs, a thought leader, speaker, and author, is the final guest speaker for the GRCC Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion’s 29th annual Diversity Lecture series on March 21, where she spoke on the topic of belonging and inclusion.
Kim Dabbs was born in Korea, adopted into an American family, and is now living in Munich, Germany. Throughout her life, she struggled with her identity, feeling like “the world was made up of places (she) didn’t belong.” Her experiences of feeling excluded and othered, trying to become a “cultural chameleon,” have inspired her to begin exploring her own pain and trying to develop a clear narrative or guide for those who are experiencing the same struggle she has.
This led Dabbs to write her book, titled “You Belong Here,” during the COVID-19 lockdown of 2020-2021, which is the main topic of her speech. She says that the book “takes us through a personal exploration that allows each of us to continually see, claim, edit, and own who we are, so that we can stand firmly when we feel like an outsider in the world.” The strategy of “see, claim, edit, own” is a primary focus of the book, and Dabbs goes into detail on each step of the process.
The “see” step focuses on recognizing one’s lived identity, or the parts of life that can not be changed or chosen, such as race, nationality, and origin story. The “claim” step involves your learned identity, which is the parts of life that you choose and are used to define you, such as the choice to get married or of where to live or work.
Next comes the “edit” step, which comes into play when you enter places that you feel you don’t fit into. Places like this are where your lingering identity comes out, which is the default identity that one falls back into as a sort of “survival instinct” to attempt to fit in. The goal of the edit step is to identify the parts of yourself that make you feel like you don’t belong, and edit your lingering identity to highlight those aspects rather than eliminate them. Each of the steps play a critical role in the final step, where you now “own” and love your identity and authentic self.
Dabbs claims that once this process is completed, one can create their own sense of belonging, as well as work towards creating belonging for others. When asked how finding belonging for herself has helped her build belonging in spaces for other people, she said, “Inner work is (how) systems work…we, as leaders, need to understand who we are and how we show up, because we’re actually designing the policies and the experiences that other people have every single day.”
“When we fully leverage our loved identity and live with authenticity and purpose,” Dabbs said during her lecture, “we can be seen, heard, and valued in a way that gives us a sense of belonging in any situation”.
You can watch the virtual lecture here, learn more about Kim Dabbs and her movement here and order the book, “You Belong Here,” here.
