By Alexandria Webb
I walked up to the rotary dial phone and sat on the black bench as a fall breeze blew through the cemetery. While the Oak Grove Cemetery is in between the busy roads of Grand Rapids, there is a quiet peacefulness that fills the air. I pick up the wind phone, a phone that carries the messages you have to your lost loved ones.
I immediately start to tear up, as I dial a friend that I haven’t seen for six years. “Hey, just wanted to say that I missed you. I started college this year. I know, it’s crazy. I wanted to also say thank you for being such a good friend to me, I know you are up there right now smiling and having a blast, but just know I appreciate your friendship still.”
I dial the phone again making another call. “Great Grandma, I miss you and wish I could talk to you in person. I wanted to let you know I graduated high school this past year, and I am pursuing journalism. Anyway I miss you and wish you could’ve been here to celebrate. Love you, bye.”
Using the Wind Phone was such a beautiful experience that helped bring a sense of comfort and peace as I spoke with those who I have lost. Grief is a heavy thing and I will be honest, it hits me when I least expect it to.
When I lost my friend, six years ago, I did not know how to handle grief. I knew that I should be sad and cry about it, but I figured I would get over it soon enough. That was not the case, his favorite song would come on, someone would mention something that reminded me of him, and I would start to feel that hurt and grief creeps its way back in.
What I realized through this is that it’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay to grieve differently from someone else. I ended up creating a video of all the videos and pictures I had of him, a memorial video. Little did I know that this video would end up being shared with people throughout the community and displayed at his funeral. My experience of loss and grief was used to create something that helped and connected others through this time of grieving.
When my Great Grandma passed away, I grieved the moments we would no longer have, and the moments she would never get to see. Through my past experience of losing my friend, I realized what I needed to do for myself to process and heal. I made a memorable slide show for her funeral, gathering pictures from all the cousins, aunts, uncles, and siblings, to create something to honor her legacy.
Grief, although heavy and complex, can be turned into a beautiful thing. Such as the Wind Phone, someone’s love for another person, and memories of that person who has passed, turned into something beautiful for others to find comfort and peace in.
Find ways to express your grief, explore it and maybe create something beautiful from it. Remember those who have passed in your own way. Whether it is writing a poem, singing their favorite songs, or maybe having a conversation with them over the phone. Do not be afraid to share or talk about your grief, because you never know the comfort or healing you can bring to others just as the comfort and healing you will bring to yourself.
I put the phone back down on the dial, taking a heavy breath, I got up and walked to my car. I wipe underneath my eyes and smile softly, as I take one last look at the phone. The Wind Phone sits there awaiting the next person to make the call, waiting to help those who have lost someone and help them reconnect.
If you or someone you know may like to visit the Wind Phone in Grand Rapids, you can visit it at the Oak Grove Cemetery, 1401 28th St SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49508.
