Around a month after Halloween, on the fourth Thursday of November, the general American population celebrates Thanksgiving. As it turns out, the frights don’t stop on Oct. 31 for many college students heading to extended family holiday parties.
Family Thanksgiving gatherings are notoriously rife with relatives who interrogate college students about topics like success, future goals, and relationships. New couples take the opportunity to introduce themselves to each other’s extended family, from the always slightly sticky iPad kid cousin to the 95-year-old great aunt. All around, Thanksgiving, for some people, can be a really spooky holiday.
For Collegiate readers, Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a time of peril. I reached out to Grand Rapids Community College staff and students and invited them to share their anecdotes and words of advice for surviving Thanksgiving.
Maleena Ruiz-Chavez, 18, of Grand Rapids, has one thing to say to readers about having to talk to sarcastic family members: “Just kind of joke back, don’t take anything personal.”
Charlie Hancock, 19, of Forest Hills, has a different way of handling the unsolicited, sarcastic pressure in conversation. “Always be nice,” Hancock said. “Don’t just try and aggravate it. Maybe just agree, even if you don’t agree.”
In my experience celebrating Thanksgiving, I often get interrogated by distant relatives about my career and college plans. I started college as a music major, and Thanksgiving last year was when I started considering switching over to journalism. I remember sharing this with my great uncle, who asked, “What? Is music too stable for a career? You need to go into journalism?” That was definitely not the commentary I was looking for, and I don’t even know what he was talking about, but all I could do was laugh uncomfortably. Uncomfortable laughing is a staple for Thanksgiving, especially if it is with a relative you only see once a year. Uncomfortable laughing is also permissible if it is with a relative that could potentially keel over and die if you upset them.
Uncomfortable laughing is also a staple in meeting a partner’s family for the first time. If the partner is a good fit, they should give a warning before the Thanksgiving meal of people who might say or do something upsetting at the party. Other survival staples include keeping an open mind, being authentic and also being willing to embrace the unfamiliar.
GRCC’s International Admissions Recruiter, Mackenzie Kidder, offers this solid advice: “I would suggest to be yourself and take the time to get to know your significant other’s family members and embrace the family and holiday traditions they have at their house that might be different from your own.”
Speaking of embracing unfamiliar things and people, Ruiz-Chavez recalled the time “my uncle had met this girl at a bar or something like a week before, then brought her to the family Thanksgiving because he was already in love.”
While some might hold off on introducing relatives to a new relationship, Ruiz-Chavez shared, “But they’re married now, so it worked.”
Of course, politeness should be a priority. Being invited to another family’s Thanksgiving dinner means they needed to plan with an extra person in mind. Holly Birmingham, an Admissions Navigator at GRCC, says, “Be polite. Being polite is the first thing, ask questions to the parents– parents like to be asked questions. Make sure you meet all the family members.”
Overall, Thanksgiving, whether with your own family or a partner’s, is a time to connect. I love my great uncle even if he made fun of my dream career. My sticky iPad kid cousin is super funny. He just needs a wet wipe. (Seriously, someone get this kid a wet wipe.) Through all of the strangeness, everyone can agree on what Thanksgiving really means.
Thomas Larios, 21, of Grand Rapids, says, “It’s about family getting together. Just celebrating what we are thankful for,” Larios started, “I want to say take in the moments, because sometimes you’re not always around everyone.”
Hancock sees Thanksgiving as “a way to connect with family, see family you don’t see most of the time, or just an excuse to get together.”
Ruiz-Chaves agrees, saying, “It’s kind of a way to see all the family I haven’t seen in a while.”
“It’s kind of nice to look back and think ‘I really like this family member, I might not talk to them all the time, but it’s really nice to see them when I do,’” Larios said.
Kidder advises students to “cherish the time spent with loved ones and enjoy the break from work and school.”
Happy Thanksgiving, Collegiate readers. Enjoy this time to sleep in or catch up on homework. Remember to tell your family how much they mean to you, and remember to embrace the strange circumstances of meeting new people.
Collegiate reporter Alexandria Webb contributed to this report.
