Home Opinion The results are in, and the winner is…

The results are in, and the winner is…

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By Austin Metz
Editor in Chief

As a student in my fifth year at GRCC, I have had classes in every building on campus. While I may not have learned much while in certain buildings, being in them has enabled me to taste the vast array of water on campus.

To be more specific, I now feel I can honestly help students locate the top drinking fountains around.

Having tasted the fruit of almost every fountain on campus, I feel that I have now found the holy grail of free water.

Although the ranking system for this is completely flawed and made-up, it is a system non-the-less.

Many different factors were taken into consideration when ranking the different fountains around campus and also when ranking the top buildings.

The first element that was looked at was the height of the fountain. Being slightly taller than the average human being (5’9” for males and 5’4” for females), when testing, I generally drank while severely bending my knees.

With 57 drinking fountains around campus, give or take a couple, the average height is 37.72 inches from the ground to the spout.

The second factor that was considered in the judging process was the accessibility of the fountain. This eliminated all the fountains off the beaten path, minus those with simply exceptional water. Good bye fountain #31 in the ATC building, you’re simply to far away.

The third and final elements are the water pressure and temperature of the water. Nothing is worse than feeling like you’re sucking the water straight from the spout, especially when the water is warm. Sorry drinking fountain #47 located on the second floor of the Student Center, it’s simply unacceptable!

Sorry about that, I had to vent for a minute. Anyway, as I asked students where their go to drinking fountain was located, a common answer strangely kept coming up.

“I just go to whatever one is closest,” said GRCC student Quentin Holtrop.
Jesus Miranda is also a student at GRCC.

“I normally go to the one on the fourth floor,” he said.”But if it’s to far away then I’ll just go to a different one.”

Kyle Davies, a student at GRCC said, “No, it doesn’t matter what drinking fountain I go to. I won’t go out of my way to go to a certain fountain. They are all the same.”

How much some students have to learn about the thirst quenching goodness of drinking fountain water!

Now, it could be that I’m the crazy one. Some may consider me the crazy cat lady of GRCC drinking fountains, or maybe, just maybe, I’m one of the select few who have tasted the liquid gold that flows from select fountains on campus.

No matter the answer, I press on. The minutes turned to hours as I wandered the halls in search of the perfect mix of height, location, water pressure and water temperature.

Having tasted the fountains in most buildings, certain buildings have been eliminated. The Student Center fountains, gone due to the lack of availability and water pressure.

The Library fountains, also gone due to the complete lack of availability. Only two fountains in the whole place? Consider it eliminated from the competition.

Lastly, the Music Center. Although filled with the sweet melodies of contemporary and classical music, it lacks the overall pressure and appeal to the average student. There is one hidden gem located on the third floor, it’s time to kiss the Music Center good-bye.

That leaves me with three buildings to consider, the Main/Cook buildings, the Science building, and the ATC building. It’s time to get picky.

The ATC building is known for being the epicenter for the culinary program as well as for most computer classes. However, it’s not the epicenter of drinking fountain glory.

With only three accessible fountains and one having the water pressure of a crimped hose, it’s time to say good-bye to the ATC building.

Combined on GRCC’s campus, the Main and Cook buildings serve as the pinnacle for community college education. Located in the heart of campus, I’ve found these buildings to have the most inconsistent fountains around.

Having 29 fountains that range from 33 1/2 inches to 44 inches, availability is not a problem. However, the consistency of the water pressure simply didn’t live up to the high standards I have adapted forcing me to cut these buildings loose.

Looking at the numbers, I am happy to say that I am now left with only one building.

Having tasted more water than one may ever need and having walked the many halls of this establishment, I’m proud to announce the winner of the 2011 Drinking Fountain Competition. The holy grail of water at GRCC rests in the fountains of the Science Building!

When you combine the availability of the fountains, 15 total, the average height, 39 1/2 inches, and the pressure and temperature of the water, I can honestly say that there is no doubt that the right place has won!

Now that this has been announced, there is only one more issue to be taken care of. Where is the best drinking fountain on campus?

The decision was not an easy one and after hours of pain staking consideration and a multitude of attempts, I finally feel that I can name the top fountain.

Although the same criteria was taken into consideration, I decided that one factor should be put to the forefront. The top drinking fountain may be off the beaten path but the combination of temperature and pressure trumps its small flaws.

While no plaque will be awarded and no banner cutting service will be held, the winner can now quench student and faculty thirst knowing it is the top drinking fountain around.

The winner of the best drinking fountain on campus goes to fountain #17 located on floor G1 of the main building! Although it is the only fountain on the floor and is located away from most classes, the ice cold temperature and steady flow of the water ensure that all who partake will leave with their whistles wet!

2 COMMENTS

  1. This saved me so much time, I had thought it was the science building, but I’m looking forward to finding lucky fountain #17. FYI the absolute worst one is on the second floor of the tech center, it literally gets warmer the longer you use it.

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