Hello, I’m Nicholas Herr. I’m starting a new column on relationships. I’ve been in the same relationship for two years with the first person I ever dated, so I understand a little about commitment and the ups and downs.
I’m not an expert, but I care and I’d like to help. I will be consulting professionals when needed to better craft a knowledgeable and thoughtful response to help solve your dating problems and dilemmas.
I want to start off with a reply to a question some of my friends are confused about: Why do the good guys get overlooked? What about the “bad boys” do women find so appealing as opposed to a guy who is interested in them as individuals? This can go both ways, because nice girls are sometimes ignored as well.
This seems amiss. Part of the problem is connected to confidence. A confident person can walk up to someone they like and have no problem telling them so. Many people struggle with this, maybe for fear of rejection or because they don’t want the other person thinking they’re a creep. Would a perceived bad boy care? I don’t think so.
Another aspect we need to think about is this: What if the person being hit on has no interest in anything serious and just wants something quick? Most of us need a connection before looking for something serious. If a man or women wants something quick, why would they hang out with someone looking for something a little more serious?
It’s also hard to get noticed if you don’t do or say anything to get noticed. You have to stand out and make yourself exceptional. Confidence goes a long way no matter how you look. If you honestly feel good about yourself and who you are, there’s an energy there that others will pick up on and find very attractive.
So what do you readers think? Please email any responses or questions to nicholasherr@email.grcc.edu and I will try to help.
very helpful and perceptive thank you Nicolas!