As the summer weather starts coming in and weeks have been getting hotter and hotter, I have noticed a trend. I am running out of clothes. I am not actually, but spending all this time at home and looking on Instagram has created a very unhealthy online shopping obsession. Credit cards make it way too easy to buy things online when compared to paying with cash. For a while during the pandemic, almost everything I needed was bought on Amazon from laundry detergent to paint in attempts to limit exposure in the grocery store. Now, I realized how easy and convenient it is so now I am buying things I don’t actually need. I have so many packages coming in, it’s like a little rush every time the Amazon truck comes by my house. In order to combat my spending I keep my card downstairs and away from my laptop.
With so many things being uncertain, it is difficult for me, someone who does well with continuity and structure, to not be able to plan for a year from now, much less the next few weeks. I have been fighting that feeling for a little while now; I need to let go of the control I think I possess and recognize that come what may, God promises that all things will work together for our good. My doubts and/or anxiety is always lessened with His gentle peace. For if the stars in the sky are governed by His command, then so, too, is all the earth below.
Even though we’re six weeks from the beginning of the next semester and I’m currently in two summer classes, I’ve started preparing myself for the fall semester. I bought an office chair yesterday and will be looking for a personal desk in a couple of weeks. I need to return my rented books, buy a new backpack, and pick my books for the fall semester. I think I’m making these plans in my head because my subconscious is trying to create a vision of what it will look and feel like to be working less hours and be more focused on my education this fall.
With the upcoming semester, it’s difficult to put into perspective how this will go. I find it very difficult to motivate myself to get stuff done and with an online-only class, that will have no virtual meetings, I just hope I can keep myself motivated. When I do a lot of online work I usually go to coffee shops or libraries to have a neutral space to do my homework, so hopefully those businesses are open, and stay open, around then. While this will be a different normal for a while, if we all can come together to overcome this I’m hopeful that the winter semester will be handled a little differently. However, doctors suspect that it’ll get worse in the upcoming months. I see pandemic life becoming a new normal for quite some time.
As a result of the coronavirus I have a lot of free time on my hands, as I’m sure you know, so I have been watching a lot of different things. The last few nights I’ve been watching a lot of one of my favorite YouTubers, Lazy Masquerade. He does a lot of stuff about true crime and unsolved mysteries. But the best part is the narrator, he has a very ominous voice. And while he only does five stories per episode he goes into greater detail. So yes I spent many hours watching that, I also binge watched season five of DC’s “Legends of Tomorrow” in the span of three days and I also regularly rewatch “Supergirl.” Although I have also been listening to music from my childhood for some reason, you know old school Maroon 5, Katy Perry, Evanescence and a lot of Kelly Clarkson. Yes, before I was an Evanescence uber-fan I was a huge fan of Clarkson. From “Since U Been Gone” to “Behind These Hazel Eyes” and “Never Again.” I couldn’t get enough of her music. Thank you, Dad…. thank you.