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Carol of the films: Movies you didn’t know were Christmas movies

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A column straight from the unorthodox mind of Jamie Miller. Often written during the middle of the night, Miller provides reviews of TV shows and movies, books, and details life through from his perspective (Abby Haywood/The Collegiate).

By Jamie Miller

Greetings Nightlighters, it is I “the-jumping-jolly-smooth-as-jazz” Jamie Miller here with yet another issue of Nightlight. Now as you hopefully know by now Christmas is coming. Which means Christmas shopping, horrible music, and even worse sweaters. Isn’t it great?! But I kid,  not about the music being horrible – with the exception of “Carol of the Bells.” I do not like lyrical Christmas music. And some of the sweaters are uglier than a Donald Trump speech. Christmas shopping is always… interesting. On the upside, the food is awesome, and there are some good holiday movies, like “Elf,” and… others. However, there are movies with holiday themes that are technically Christmas movies, although not exactly regarded as such. Fair warning, “Die Hard” will not be on this list because everyone knows about that one. So, put on your Santa hat, grab some eggnog, and let’s dig in.

“Gremlins,” which was released in 1984, is a beloved Steven Speilberg classic starring Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” The film tells the tale of Billy Peltzer, a young man whose father buys a creature called a Mogwai also known as a Gremlin. However, there are three rules to caring for Mogwai. Don’t expose them to sunlight, don’t get them wet, and never ever feed them after midnight. In the course of the movie all three rules are broken and pandemonium ensues. This dark comedy is remembered fondly by many people who watched movies back in the 80’s, and even today. However, what’s not well remembered is that it is technically a Christmas movie. Yes, you have Gremlins killing people and wreaking havoc on Christmas. And, in all honesty, it is awesome.

“Batman Returns,” directed by Tim Burton and released in 1992, is a sequel too 1989’s “Batman,” the movie which stars Michael Keaton of “Beetlejuice,” Danny DeVito from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” Michelle Pfeiffer, and Christopher Walken, who has been in many many movies such as “Pulp Fiction.” In the film, Keaton’s Batman goes toe-to-toe with DeVito’s Penguin who seeks revenge on the world that he felt abandoned him. While at the same time, Pfeiffer’s newly liberated Catwoman seeks revenge plans of her own. The movie is gloomy and dark as most Burton movies are. However, it is also a Christmas movie, as all of this occurs during the Christmas season.

A movie many would be surprised to find on this list is “American Psycho.” This movie which was released in 2000 and stars Christian Bale of “The Dark Knight” trilogy fame, along with Jared Leto known from “Suicide Squad” and “Requiem for a Dream.”  Along with Willem Dafoe and Reese Witherspoon from “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Legally Blonde.” The movie tells the twisted tale of the terribly traumatizing, thriving psychopath, and all around horrible human being, Patrick Bateman and his life of being a New York investment banker by day and sadistic serial killer by night. From killing a coworker for having a better business card to murdering a prostitute with a chainsaw. The movie is bloody and dark, it’s satire of the hollow pursuits of the upper-class bites harder than a Rottweiler that just drank 30 energy drinks. However, what many people fail to realize is it technically counts as a Christmas movie as all of this happens around the Christmas season. 

Possibly even stranger than “American Psycho,” “Eyes Wide Shut”  is an interesting film released in 1999, starring Tom Cruise along with Nicole Kidman. The movie is the story of a married couple, Dr. William Harford and Alice Harford, whose relationship is deteriorating and fading away. As a result when Cruise hears about, for lack of a better term, a masked orgy put on by a secret society, he attends in disguise and opens up a can of worms. Which brings upon him and possibly his family a campaign of harassment by said society that is fully able to destroy everything he loves. However, this movie is also technically a Christmas movie as it takes place around the Christmas season. 

Now, I don’t have time to list every movie people with a plot developing around Christmas, these are but a few. And  in unrelated news, everything I know is a lie. I mean if those are Christmas movies what else didn’t I know about. The next thing you’re gonna tell me that we had a former reality star as president for the past  four years… Oh wait…