Dear Nicholas…texting is complicated

Texting has become common to millions of people, an everyday thing among college students.

With dating so prevalent in high school and college, texting is a way to have instant access or talk all day. It also seems to be an easy format to escape face-to-face interactions, as well as an easy tool to deal a break-up.

Can all this texting be good in a relationship?

You need to connect to a person. Too much can be misconstrued from communicating via text messaging.

“Texting can be useful,” said Pat Missad, GRCC academic adviser. “It has its time and place, but you need that face-to-face interaction.”

Many times I ran into the problem where I misread something and took it the wrong way. A phrase such as “I’m fine” can be read many ways. In person, you have the ability to read someone using their tone and body language. We sacrifice all this when we text because tone and body language says more than the actual words.

But texting too frequently can be complicated. Texting should never hinder you from seeing someone or be the main form of communication if at all possible. People are meant to be social creatures. That’s what draws us to social media and texting–we can all be connected throughout the world. Sadly there’s a loss of connection there; words become hollow and nothing more than text on a screen.

I need that excitement I get only when being around people, especially when it’s someone I love. To love someone means, in essence, that you love to be around them.

If you love to be around an individual, then texting can’t replace that feeling, so if person ends a relationship by sending you a message, then I feel that shows a lack of care entirely.

“If you have to break-up with someone, do it in a public place,” Missad said, explaining that a discussion will be “less likely to turn into a scene and a fight.”

Texting is great for quick messaging, but less than ideal when discussing deep issues or having a fight. You might type something you otherwise normally wouldn’t if in person. And everything can be misread, which could cause unintentional fights. Aside from that, serious moments need to be in person.

The more you share together, the closer you’ll become, so to share moments and opportunities to grow using texting is just not the way to go. I believe we need to give space and not overwhelm people through constant text messages, so when you are together it’s much more special.

Also, it’s a way to keep tabs on people. Missad calls it a whole new form of stalking. Having that instant access to someone, some people want to know what’s going on all the time. I believe texting prevents people in a relationship from having time alone, contributing to damaged a relationship in the long run.

I can’t think of one time where a single text made me feel anywhere as good as being with that person. It is convenient, but trying to handle issues through texts can lead to much worse. Being with a person you love and actually spending time with them is why we’re here.

So take a break from texting and spend those moments with that person. It’s the moments in our lives and who we spend them with that makes us who we are.